HOW I APPLY THE YOGIC MOTHERHOOD TEACHINGS IN MY DAILY LIFE
The yogic motherhood and pregnancy teachings have impacted my life in probably more way than I can count, but here’s a quick (alright maybe not so quick—I like to write as you may know by now😂) run down of some essential teachings, and how they have impacted me and my family in our day-to-day life.
1. We co-sleep.
Always have and still are (he’s 4 now) to support his sense of security. To me it felt completely natural and I’ve never actually questioned it or felt like there was another way.
Up until 3 years of age the mother and child’s auras are still one, so any kind of separation can feel traumatic. That doesn’t mean that we can’t or shouldn’t—the goal is still to create an independent child, who are comfortable being on their own. But that process takes time and as we go through it, we want to take it slow and make sure we still built a deep sense of security, while creating detachment.
Did you know that human babies are actually born around 3 months “too early” when compared to other mammals?
This means that the developmental stage that the baby is at, at 3 months, is actually the stage that any other mammals would be born at. Our babies really cannot for the sake of their development be separated from us, before 3 month of age, and even then they are still very dependent on us for a healthy development.
From a yogic perspective co sleeping is a must for the first 3 years of the child’s life, and is still strongly encouraged up until 7 years, if the child wants to and/or needs it.
2. I believe my son chose us as parents.
Therefore our lifestyle is also one that we support him in upholding.
The yogis believe that the children choose their parents (yes, you chose yours too!) So our lifestyle is actually the lifestyle that the child chose and needs for their life to unfold the way it’s meant to.
One example for us is that both me and my partner are vegetarian, so naturally we see it as that my son also chose not to eat animals. We also don’t say meat, but call it what it is: animals.
As I am a Sikh we also doesn’t cut his hair (he has naturally fine and curly hair so that’s been a pretty easy one for now).
We try to teach him abut why we make the choices that we do, and feel like he get’s it (for the most part) already.
He will often come to me and ask me about why fx I wear white or wear a turban, and then we enjoy having that conversation, and I tell him my reasons for choosing what I do.
I’m also very happy that my child will grow up in a household free of alcohol, and with the security of not ever having to see his parents drunk etc.
3. My child wears natural fabric clothing, and mostly white, blue or orange.
Those are the three healing colors. One of the first things I always ask a parent, if they ever complain that their kid is being out of control etc., is if they dress their child in synthetic fabrics (aka plastic)?
These kinds of fabrics really messes with our electromagnetic field, and can feel very disruptive (I certainly couldn’t feel good if I were covered in plastic fabrics).
So I naturally choose natural materials for my son, and try to stick with those three colors. ( We’re not fanatic though, if he was gifted something in another color we might still let him wear it—but not if it’s synthetic though).
4. I’m focused on teaching my child logic and reasoning, not just to follow orders.
The latter is important too, but it’s only natural that a child will rebel against orders, if we neglect to explain them the logic behind why we do what we do.
My experience has been that children respond really well to logic, even from a young age. I think we often take for granted that small children will not understand logic, but getting into the habit of explaining, even from an early age, has been super valuable for me as a parent.
It requires of me that I have enough energy to not just get short and say “because I told you so” or “because that’s how it is” etc.—although that can totally still happen in a moment of pressure, but I always aspire to take the time and get into the habit of explaining why we do what we do.
This builds my child’s intelligence, logic and reasoning skills, and listening skills too.
This also means that once I say to my child something like “I know this is what we have to do now”, he trusts me, because he knows that I have a reason behind what I tell him.
5. I strengthen my nervous system with yogic practices and diet, because I know that the family is “one nervous system”.
Our nervous system state influences the state of our child’s nervous system. Therefore I have a strong focus on nervous system strengthening yoga practices (if you’ve done my classes you know that I love to teach my favorites like ‘correcting nerve shallowness’, ‘nervous system overhaul’, Panj Grani kriya, and of course the Bound Lotus posture), and I have to say that they really work. I’ve even been complimented on my nervous system “calmness” that I’m able to maintain around my child.
I also drinks lots of Yogi tea which helps strengthen the nerves (one of the many benefits of this drink).
6. I raised my son in the womb. Now I’m just supporting / “managing” him.
This is an essential yogic pregnancy teaching. The children are raised in the womb, and all the knowledge, the patterns and the values that you want them to learn, should really be given during the time from the 120th day of the pregnancy until the birth and maximum time we can extend this is 40 days after the birth (120th day to 7th month is the most beneficial time).
This is a critical time in a human’s life that will determine the frame that the person is operating within for the rest of their life.
This one might just be the most valuable of all the yogic teachings, and if mother’s knew this (+ science is now supporting it in many ways), and we did the work required at that time, we would raise a very different humanity.
So as I see it, the work of “parenting” is largely done already. There’s a lot of requirements still from me as a mother of course, but the mainframe has been set, and I have to trust that what I did during the pregnancy is what will support my son for the rest of his life.
Keeping this trust also creates a positive projection on my son, which ties into the next point on this list…
7. I pray for my child every day.
I keep my projection on him very positive, always staying in a state of “urge”, and wanting him to do better.
Praying for others and holding them in just a slightly larger frame than where they might be at right now, is a very positive way of guiding and projecting for someone. If the frame is too large though and the child doesn’t feel like they can ever satisfy you, or they don’t get encouragement or praise ever, well, that’s not what I’m talking about here.
I stay away from worrying as worrying is like a negative projection and manifestation of someone, and I don’t create blocks around him but categorizing him in finite labels (“bad kid”, “difficult”, “sad”, “challenging” etc.)
I also do active prayers and chant for him every day. I say at least three prayers for hime before going to bed, and I chant the mul mantra and protection mantras at least 11 times every day.
8. I remind myself that my child has his own destiny, and that I’m here to support him in the best way I possibly can.
But I don’t know what that destiny is.
I think this might be the most important of all the teachings, and one that as a parent is so helpful to adapt, as it really can change the amount of pressure we put on our children.
Many women want children for the sake of building their own identity. This comes with so much weight on the child, and really isn’t a fair reason to have a child at all.
Drop the ides of creating a “mini me”, and let your child guide you instead and show you who they are. Can you project? Yes. Can you pray? Yes of course. And if you already have an idea of what you want your child to do in life, then you should give them knowledge of this subject already while they are in the womb. But then that’s it. Let it go and see it as your job to hold the frame for them to meet their own destiny.
How many of us had to first shed our parent projection of us, before we felt free enough to go after what it really was that we wanted to do in life? Save your child from having to go through that experience, and support them in meeting their highest destiny instead.
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