THE GOLDEN RULE OF LIFE
Leaving life up to chance, can be a very unfulfilling experience.
In every single moment you have an opportunity to ask yourself: what do I want to have a bigger experience of right now?
Let’s break that down:
Following this idea of having a bigger experience, takes some maturity and claiming responsibility over your existence—I know, not something we are so used to doing. What usually happens is that when things aren’t going the way we want them to, we blame and externalize. “I can’t be happy because x, y and z” is our usual response.
What I’ve found is that rather than externalize, when I claim real ownership over my own situation, and I take full responsibility, I gain so much more personal power and energy, and I have a real opportunity to have an experience of the life that I want to have. And that usually makes me feel more fulfilled.
Taking responsibility means that I am in charge of the situation. I am in control, and I decide where I’m going with this and how I want to feel.
If you read this now and think that “deciding” what to feel is fake or mechanical, consider this: what else is determining how you feel? If it isn’t you, then what is? Is it the other person or the situation?
It’s actually your subconscious programming.
Our habits, reactive patterns, and how we experience life, is determined largely by our subconscious mind which is formed mostly in our childhood, and when we were in our mothers womb (yogic teachings says from the 120th day until 40 days out of the womb, science says from day of conception and for the next 3 years). How we react is a replay of certain patterns. Our beliefs about the world are formed at a time when we had little to no conscious control.
It is really not your fault at all, if you don’t have an amazing experience of life. But it also doesn’t help you to blame your parents, or others for your experience. That won’t change your patterns, and if it’s someone else who is responsible for them, it doesn’t leave you with much control to change it, does it?
If you want a better experience of life you have to start CHOOSING to have a better experience of life.
This is how you create a new pattern. Just like your old patterns were formed and became habits, you need to help yourself along to form new ones.
It starts by claiming ownership: I’m in charge. This is my domain.
Life as a human is lived through the lease of our own experiences.
It is largely a selfish journey that our soul is on. That’s okay. It’s not very new-agy or conventionally “spiritual” but any other claim falls short. Even when you give to another person, help people, do good in the world, you are doing that because you believe in it, it is valuable to you, and it offers you an opportunity to add to your identity and your experience of yourself. Feel free to challenge yourself (and me) on this one.
It is important to remember that boundaries are also part of your experience. This is where things get tricky. If we have a habit of letting people cross our boundaries, simply choosing to have a “bigger experience”, can become an escape and a way to turn the cheek. This is not sustainable, and won’t give us the experience of life that will feel fulfilling.
You have to go deeper than simply choosing to “see the good” in a situation.
Having a bigger experience is about staying open, and not shutting down to life. Even when we have do assert ourselves, or have a hard conversation, we are able to do so fully open. Having a bigger experience of yourself as being fierce, strategic and standing up for what you deserve, can 100% also be part of that experience.
Having a bigger experience of something does not mean that everything looks perfect all the time. In fact “going all in” can sometimes feel messy. Perfectionism is often what holds us back from simply going for it.
Having a bigger experience means paying attention, staying present, not escaping the situation. So that even when you are facing something difficult, and even when you get into situations where you are uncomfortable, and things aren’t going the way you want them to, you don’t shut down, or space out. Instead you face the moment, you make a new strategy, and you take charge of the situation.
Here’s are a few examples of how to start forming the habit of having a bigger experience of life:
—Make a vision statement for your life. Be clear about what it is that you overall want to have a bigger experience of. Start putting every situation that you meet through this mould.
—Whenever you feel an unproductive emotion arise, that can be your moment of inserting the though What do I want to have a bigger experience of? What am I choosing right now. Do I have a choice? (Yes) Is it possible for me to skip ahead to the moment when this is solved, and look back and see what the solution was? Can I simply choose the solution?
—Install “AI technology” into your 10 bodies (aka Kundalini Yoga). The kundalini yoga will start to automate your response to—and your experience of—the world, so that every moment become more enjoyable and of benefit to you.
Deciding to have a bigger experience is simple—but it isn’t always easy.
Kundalini yoga is one system that helps you get to a neutral place in your mind so that from there you can choose your experience. You need enough energy to stay present—the yoga will give you that. You need to be able to catch yourself and pause before reacting so that you can choose your direction carefully—the breath will give you that. You need to assist yourself constantly to choose a better direction—the mantras will give you that. And the meditation will help you release the subconscious patterns.
Practice going all in:
Try your best—for just one day at least—to embrace life 100%. Go all in on whatever it is that you are doing. Practice staying open, when you want to close or shut down. Be fully present or as much as you can at least.
Then ask yourself: what do I want to have a bigger experience of?
—is it my anger? My irritability? The other persons stupidity or shortcomings?
—or is it kindness, contentment, and uplifting the people around me?
It is usually quite easy to choose the experience you want to have in life when you are alone. It can get more complicated when you are relating to other people.
When relating to other people, can you be 100% present when someone speaks? Can you listen, and not prepare your answer in your own head while they are talking? Can you find their very best qualities and features and focus on them?
This is one way in which you can have a bigger experience of life. It is largely a choice. Begin with that choice today, and set a new habit of taking charge of the experience you are having. Make it a conscious choice.
Your negative habits were formed by you confirming them. Now start confirming a different experience. Your life is entirely up to you.
So… What do you want to have a bigger experience of?
