THE “OVERACHIEVER EXHAUSTION COMPLEX”

—AND HOW TO BEAT IT

Have you spotted the current trend in the “wellness world”? I’ve called it the “overachiever exhaustion complex”.

Many people who have been seeking healing, or engaged in self improvement practices are genuinely burned out. They get tired of feeling like there’s something wrong with them, or that they have to “fix” themselves constantly. I get it. Honestly, who wants to feel that way? There’s no energy in such a space. 

What I’ve noticed though—and I believe it to be a side trend—is that with that comes a critique or an overall rejection of anyone wanting to commit, impose discipline and work hard towards their goals. “Hustling” to achieve your goals is out, and lounging around is very much in. To some it serves, and for others it has become yet another prison of an excuse to play small in life. I admit to have been caught in that space myself sometimes. I feel like we have gotten a little bit sidetracked, or used our judgment wrong though.

You don’t want to not succeed. You don’t want to not achieve in life. You don’t want to not work towards your dreams, have wins, and expand your life and have bigger experiences. But in order to feel truly fulfilled by your accomplishments you need to first break up with your conditioning of what that looks like.

Discipline is not the enemy. Working hard is not the enemy. Success is not the enemy. The enemy is your lack of lust for life, lack of true purpose and lack of passion (and really of perspective: carrying out your passion is an act of COMpassion—if you only knew what a difference what you have to offer could make in others peoples life, there’s no way that you wouldn’t go for it, and go big!)

You’re tired, you’re exhausted, you are overwhelmed. You lack the chi which drives your vehicle forward. You’re sick of the hustle and bustle—because something outside of you is driving the car and not you.

No one has a problem with doing the work, putting in the effort and the energy if what they work towards is meaningful to them. When you have purpose you do what it takes, and you know how to shift the gears.

What is most likely making you feel exhausted, and what you have to overcome is conditioning. Even when I say: “success”, “failure, “win” you automatically go to the programming you have around those words. What did “winning” look like in your childhood? And what is the measure of success that you see in the lives of those around you?

I am not saying that it is not okay to take a break. If you have been in a situation where you were doing everything and all, and hustled for results that were not fulfilling—maybe you do need a time out. That’s great, that’s also a win. You realized and recognized that what you were doing isn’t working for you, and isn’t fueling you with infinite energy. You are expanding your awareness and consciousness and recognizing the patterns. You know how to shift gears.

We are all constantly moving forward in life—we literally live on a planet that never stands still, always moving, circling, spiraling. It’s normal if you feel the motion sickness. While some people have a steady pace, constantly moving one foot in front of the other, others might do a sprint and then retreat for a while. And the journey of moving forward is not just about the external measurements of what that looks like, it is much more about the internal steps that we take. And those can happen invisibly while we retreat from the world. No one can know what journey you are on but you.

But I do see how there is a general resistance to moving right now, to reach for success, to keep disciplined, to stick it out, and that’s why I feel called to talk about it here, because I was asking myself: where is that conversation? I don’t see it anywhere. What I see is people abandoning working towards their dreams because instagram influencers told them that if you work more than 4 hours a day you aren’t doing it right. Can you really afford to slow your pace down? Or have you just found a comfortable resting place in the idea that working hard to achieve results is exhausting?

Another reason for why so many people feel a lack of purpose right now, is that our planet is going through what is yogicly known as a ‘cold depression’. This fog is dazing and confusing us, making it harder to see clearly our purpose, or to see the purpose of anything at all for that matter. For this I only have one advice: practice more yoga. Kundalini yoga was made for these times and for getting through cold depression (if you feel very cold or “damp” after your yoga practice, this could be a sign of cold depression leaving your body).

The worst, which is happening right now, is the cold depression. Cold depression is a state of mind, which you are depressed, but you are not aware of it. And with that you want to destroy everything you want to touch, because you don’t feel things respond to you. You are not aware of the fact that you are also under the cold depression. So, what we need in our society today is compassion, power to listen, strength, tolerance.
—Yogi Bhajan, October 17, 2000

My purpose with this blog post is to bring awareness, and perhaps maybe even wake up some of you out there, who have gotten your lack of passion confused with the “underachievers anonymous” trend. Sometimes it can help to reframe the words. “Purpose” and “passion” might just not be what drives you forward when you are stuck. Then ask yourself: “what deeply interests me? What can I do for hours on end without feeling tired?” or “ What might I have to do in order to have enough financial freedom to fund this passion of mine?” —It is not always about finding a way to monetize your passion. You have to have vision and look ahead.

Your creativity will take care of the “how”. You just focus on the “why” for now. The only failure is failure to try.

I wholeheartedly believe that if everyone could do what was meaningful to them, and what felt deeply purposeful, the world would be like a big puzzle solved. Or a perfect clockwork. Every single one of us has something to offer. I am genuinely curious to know what you have to offer. What problems of mine (and others) might you be able to solve, so that my life can flow even? 

We are here because we want to expand. We want to overcome. We want to succeed. To taste victory. To feel what it is like to win. But remember: true is true for you. What does your success look like? What does winning look like for you? That’s where I want you to go! That’s where infinite energy lies. That’s where true happiness and fulfillment lies. Don’t be afraid of going for “conventional” success (money, fame, beating the odds etc.) they’re there for a reason, but who are you trying to impress at the end of the day? I hope it’s yourself. Impress yourself. Show yourself your greatness. And you will get your infinite energy potential back.